Supernatural S
by prinnprick
Summary: What happens when me and my brother get bored while watching the show.


CROATOAN – DEAN AND SAM – SUPERNATURAL

Sam: Man, I'm pretty.

Dean: Sam, you're thinking out loud again.

Sam: Oh, sorry.

Dean: Shut up! You're making it worse!

Sam: Sorry!

Dean: We should talk over here. -takes one step left-

Sam: Good idea. No one can hear us from there.

Dean: Blah blah Shriner convention this comment is sassy blah blah.

Sam: I couldn't hurt a child blah blah blah.

Dean: Not a child- an it!

Doctor: Who are you guys and why did you kill this one guy I knew?

Dean: We would have killed the son too if Sam wasn't such a PUSSY.

Doctor: Excuse me?

Sam: Phones are down.

Dean: I'm leaving. You better kill some people before I get back, Sam. If there aren't dead bodies everywhere I'mma be real disappointed in you.

-drives for a while. Sees a car-

Car: WTF.

Dean: -picks up bloody knife near bloody car- I could kill so many people with this knife.

Sam: -to doctor with thoughtful face- You think it's true that if you eat their hearts you gain their courage?

Dean: Well, you are a hansom devil, but I don't swing that way.

Croatoan Infected: Don't lie to yourself, Dean. I watch the show- I know what's going on.

Sam: -after smacking the infected mother- Oh no! She's not dead yet! Dean is gonna be pissed!

Sam: -to nurse Pam as she tries to leave- Wait. I know you're upset, but I'm very pretty. I'm sure more than your boyfriend. -gives her his "it's obvious" look- Don't you know who I am? I'm gorgeous.

Nurse Pam: You can't kill her like an animal!

Dean: -to the nurse as they're considering killing the infected mother- Watch me, bitch.

Sam: Dean, _language_!

Dean: -about to kill the infected mother- We are gonna put soooo many bullets in this lady.

.

Dean: -kills infected mother- No fucks given. If it turns out she wasn't infected, we can always blame Sam.

Nurse Pam: We can't stay here!

Sam: She has a point. We gotta get out of here, Dean. Go to a roadhouse- get a steak. I'm starving, Dean.

Black Guy: Unless you've got explosives, we're fucked.

Sam: When do we not have explosives?

Dean: Or Sam can always cook some up. Someone's in the kitchen with Sam- and they better be dead when I get in there!

Dean: -grabs Duane and turns to Doc- Give him a good once over, will you? If you don't, I will.

Duane: Has anyone seen my mom and dad?

Dean and Sam: -whistle innocently-

Dean: Get some rope and tie him down.

Duane: Look, I've seen the show, but don't you think this is a bit too kinky?

Sam: I know where this is going.

Sam: you can't just keep killing people!

Dean: I don't listen to people who don't murder other people.

Duane: I swear it's not in me!

Dean: I've got no choice. And by no choice I just mean I really wanna shoot you. I mean, sure, we could wait three hours... but waiting means I don't get to use my gun.

Doctor: It's been over four hours. His blood is still clean. I don't think he's infected. I'd like to untie him now if you're done with your sex games.

Dean: I don't -

Doctor: Stop it, Dean. I watch the show.

Nurse Pam: -before she attacks and reveals she's infected- I've been waiting to get you alone.

Sam: Well, I am gorgeous.

Dean: -after Sam gets the virus- I have to put you down like a rabid dog now, I'm sorry.

Sam: B-But Dean... I'm gorgeous!

Duane: You were gonna kill me!

Dean: Shut up, _Duane_. No one cares if you die! You're not a main character! _Duuuuaaannne_. Stupid name, Duane.

Dean: We ride together or we die together, Sam!

Sam: But I hate the way you drive.

Dean: We're not just brothers... We're homies!

Sam: … Please never say "Homie" again.

Dean: Sam, you can't even kill a random pedestrian, how can you possibly kill yourself?

Dean: -near the end- I could have killed so many more people before this thing was through... What a waste of time!

Sam: Tell me what dad told you.

Dean: No.

Sam: Tell me or I'll keep asking.

Dean: No.

Sam: Dean, I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. Tell me. I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you.

Dean: Fine. Dad said you're a pussy and look like a girl and I'm the favorite. Happy?

Sam: -all sad- No...

Summary: In this chapter, a bunch of people get infected and have to die, but Sam won't kill anybody so Dean has to do all the work.

Also, apparently Sam is gorgeous.


End file.
